Once there, he checked her and told us he thought it was pyometra. It’s an infection of the uterus. He performed the x-rays and not only was it confirmed, but her uterus had ruptured, blood work confirmed that she was septic. My heart broke into so many pieces. I found myself having an asthma attack and kneeling on the floor next to her just holding her. She was fine just the day before, not feeling too great, but she was playing and eating. I couldn’t understand or put together how this happened, how I missed it. Apparently I’m a horrible pet parent for missing this right? I was being so hard on myself. I wanted to take her home and just snuggle her and take care of her and nurse her back to health. I was kidding myself. I knew I was. Just like in humans, sepsis is deadly. But I remember yelling at the doctor and calling him a liar. Can you picture the show I was causing? But the doctor was wonderful, he really was. In one entire phrase, he sentenced my dog to death and comforted us at the same time. Skilled he was! The last words anyone wants to hear is “There’s nothing we can do, it’s in the best interest of Molly to euthanize her.” Seriously doc? Oh and he told us how he had his own dog being operated on right as we spoke. I know he was trying really hard to comfort us and let us know we were doing the right thing, but just then, in that moment, I wanted to euthanize him.
Chris had to sign the paperwork, because I was shaking so much and trying to breathe through an asthma attack, AND holding Molly. I also had to deliver the news to my mom, and that itself was horrible. It was such a horrible day. Molly hadn’t given me a kiss in two days, she wasn’t feeling good, so obviously she didn’t want to play or be too lovey. It’s almost like she knew, but when I was left alone with her for a few minutes, I sat down down in front of her and said, “You couldn’t just be accidentally pregnant? You couldn’t just be mommy’s little whorelette? You just had to go and get super sick on us didn’t you? You always have to do everything BIG!” She gave me a kiss! And I cried even more. Then the nurse came in and took her into the back to get her ready. They had to insert the IV. They then took us into a back room, it was sort of “welcoming”. They asked us if we wanted her up on the table, and I quickly shouted no. They laid down a big red blanket and laid Molly on it. I laid down next to her and so did Chris. We kissed her and hugged her. We said our “I love you’s.” The doctor came in and asked us if we were ready. My response: “Do you really think I’m going to say yes?” He nodded and gave us a few more minutes. Chris was sick to his stomach and in horrible pain. We were ready, as ready as we could be. I’m going to spare you the details, but it was peaceful. We held her and kissed her the entire time until the very last breath.
They gave us a copy of The Rainbow Bridge and two puppy angel pins. We went home, without our Molly. We’re still grieving, we’re still hurt. She will always be missed, always.
Pyometra isn’t always deadly if you catch it in time. The signs are subtle so you have to pay attention to your dog. We realized she had all the symptoms of it after the fact, after it was all over. Please read this information on Pyometra. We had an appointment for next month to get the girls spayed. If you do not plan on breeding, please spay them.
I put together a collage of Molly’s life along with her “sisters”. This is my tribute to her.
I’m honestly having a very hard time. I can’t get past the guilt stage. If you’ve ever lost a pet unexpectedly how did you deal with it?