I Am Angry, Very Angry
A friend in my TTC group showed us an article today. It was about a dad who is angry that he’s having twins. This is coming from the mouth of a person who had struggled with infertility along side his wife. They spent two years trying, and on their first IVF “They got lucky!” Wait! The kicker is that HIS WIFE ASKED to have two embryos implanted! They asked for it! Why? To stack against the odds! I’m not linking to the article to bring it more traffic, I want to share with you why I’m so outraged, disgusted, crying, blatantly calling the man a bastard, and his wife a selfish cosmopolitan Bitch!
They claim to have had such a horrible time with their first son, and how they already can’t stand him for knowing that crying pushes their buttons. But they so badly wanted to give him a sibling so that he can experience what they experienced with their siblings. This started out selfish! I mean we all, at some point, get aggravated at the kids. It’s natural. They’re learning their limits, it’s our job to teach them. It’s our job to love them, and it’s our job to accept however many children we become pregnant with. Here’s the quote that just threw me off the edge:
We considered a reduction for about 30 seconds. (That’s essentially an abortion of one twin, not both.) If you thought that IVF involved playing God, a reduction felt beyond brazen — Machiavellian, even. Give us a reason, we thought, as we had the twins tested for genetic anomalies. None came.
YOU KNEW THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN!!!! YOUR DOCTOR TOLD YOU THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN!!! SO WHY DID YOU DO IT ANYWAYS?!
These are the risks of ovulatory stimulants, IUI, and IVF. I could understand being worried, and scared and wondering if they’ll have colic too, but to wish them away? To actually even for those 30 seconds think about a reduction!? Come On! Man up! They prayed to get bad results.
We’ve been dealing with and suffering Infertility for almost four years now. We’ve had miscarriages, our relationship has been on the rocks, and quite frankly we have lost hope too. We took a few months off to rekindle our relationship, to acknowledge and discuss if this is what we really wanted. It is. So we changed doctors, we lost weight, we got healthier, and now we’re getting ready to start our clomid cycle. We’re excited and yes nervous. Twins are common on both sides of our family, so it’s a possibility. I welcome it! My cousin had triplets thanks to IVF, and she couldn’t be happier! They’re all strong, vivacious kids with three different personalities. They’re perfect! They’re healthy! The fear is always there, it’s normal, but to not like your unborn children? To wish them away?
Then why go through all the fertility treatments? Why “stack the deck?” You don’t make sense to me? I will welcome any bundle of joy that I finally become pregnant with! Ask my husband anything, and he’ll answer you, “I just want my wife and my unborn baby or babies to be healthy.” Yes health issues are real, some can develop at anytime during pregnancy. It’s the unfortunate truth of pregnancy, whether you’re pregnant with a singleton or twins, or high order multiples. Issues happen! It’s something that everyone should prepare for.
So in response to you Mr. Anonymous Dad, get over it. You did it to yourself. You wanted a girl, the universe blessed you with two boys! Deal with it! And why even try for another child when you live in a one bedroom apartment? You can apparently afford $10,000 for IVF, so you can easily afford a bigger apartment or house. Get a place with a yard, you’ll be surprised what your kids will end up becoming!
I honestly pray that your unborn boys never read this article you wrote. That they will never know how much you did not want them. I hope that they are loving children who will be there for you when you are old and are baby-like yourself. I hope that they don’t regret taking care of you. I hope that they don’t wish you away. I pray that your wife’s pregnancy is uneventful, and that you will learn to accept what you did to yourselves. I pray that you will love those boys unconditionally just like they will love you.