One would think that the saying, “Practice makes perfect” applies to all parts of life, including the bedroom – especially when trying to conceive. What I wasn’t counting on was a diminishing sex drive among other symptoms. I believed, at first, that we were “practicing” too much. However, it was a deeper-rooted issue that almost ruined my marriage – ALMOST.
“You Are Not Alone”
I don’t care what anyone says, sex is a major part of any relationship. It helps to build and keep a bond between you and your partner. Sex releases endorphins that help lift our moods, it’s a major part of women’s health! As I researched and delved deeper into the world of sex, disorders, dysfunctions, syndromes, and health, I came across a condition hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).
What is HSDD?
A recent study shows that about 1 in 15 premenopausal women suffer from HSDD. Health experts describe HSDD as the absence of sexual fantasies and thoughts, and/or desire for or receptivity to, sexual activity, which causes personal distress or interpersonal difficulties.
Just imagine, you’re hot and heavy with your partner, everything is going good, then, as time goes you find yourself pushing them away. The last thing you’re thinking about is sex. Talk about a conundrum!
If you are experiencing low sexual desire that is distressing and lasts six months or longer, it may be HSDD. HSDD is not caused by existing problems in a relationship, a co-existing medical issue, or any medication that may cause low sex drive.
Do you think you might have decreased sexual desire and are distressed about it? Take this quiz to learn more.
“HSDD is one of four types of female sexual dysfunction, which include persistent problems with sexual arousal, orgasm, and pain”
Rediscovering My Spark
It’s not easy to admit that you’re not interested in sex – at all – nevermind with your partner! We tried everything, including toys to help get you in the mood. You guys, it’s been a hard year, actually, a hard 5 years. When sex becomes a chore, you just don’t want to do it anymore.
Admittedly, speaking with my doctor about this was a little embarrassing, but I used these talking points to help get the conversation started:
- Is a low libido normal for my age?
- Why is sex becoming so painful now?
- Is it normal for women to have issues with sex?
You can look at more talking points here.
Getting My Groove Back
It hasn’t been an easy road in the least. There are good days and bad days — mostly good lately. It got easier after I talked to not only my doctor but my husband as well.
“1 in 4 couples don’t feel comfortable talking about their sex life”
We also took a vacation recently where we were able to reconnect with each other.
We spent four delightful days on the Delaware Coast just enjoying one another’s company. We did wine tours and boat tours, and we rekindled our passion.Here are some helpful conversation tips to get you and your partner talking:
- Don’t Rush – ladies, we all enjoy the occasional quickie – this isn’t one of those times. There’s a lot to talk about and it could take days, sometimes weeks or months.
- Pick a Time – Morning, afternoon, evening, laying in bed while reading, stuck in traffic. You know your partner and yourself best. So choose a time when you can both sit and talk.
- Seek Therapy – There are lots of professionals out there to help both you and your partner get through this tough period. It may even help set the pace for this important conversation.
Whatever the case may be, you can rediscover your spark and get your groove back too. You just need to open up, ask questions, and talk with your partner. Your partner can’t help you if you don’t tell them what’s happening.
As women, we tend to take care of everyone else but ourselves. I’m asking you to put yourself, your health, your sexual health, and your own well-being first. To learn more about HSDD, the most common form of female sexual dysfunction (FSD), visit FindMySpark.com.